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Spring is Here
Spring Weed Gnome
Credit: Pinterest

Well, Spring time is right around the corner and you know what that means, or do you? While it is still pretty chilly out, the time of rain and brisk mornings is rapidly upon us. The leaves will grow and flowers will blossom and the children will dance again. Isn’t it lovely after such a long hibernation. But here’s the thing, you may love the spring, but as a stoner, you know there is only one way to maximize your enjoyment. Getting high.

Look, this is just a face of the stoner life, that things are best enjoyed after partaking in a little green. But don’t worry, we have you covered, the spring is one of the most fun times to get high and love life. So for your benefit, we’re going to run down the best springtime activities for when you want to get ripped.

1. A Walk in the Park

Wow, great one, you say. Nobody has ever thought about that before. Fine, well how often do you really do it? How often do you rip a bowl of your dankest bud and take a lovely midday stroll through your neighborhood park? I bet the answer is not as much as you’d think.

We wanted to start simple to get those spring juices flowing. So, here’s what we recommend. First step is get ripped. Like almost out of your mind, but not enough that you won’t want to leave the house. Try a strain that doesn’t tend to lead to couch lock, usually sativas do the trick because they give you energy. Second step is to pick a place in between the you and the park. That will give you a good reason and waypoint for existing. Make it a food place to combat those pesky munchies. Finally, head outside and get ready for the brisk spring air to slap you in your beautiful face.

2. Start a Garden

Ahh the great outdoors get so perfect in the spring and the world smells so lovely and you can almost hear the chorus of angels and muses on the chilly breeze. This is the time to plant your garden and learn about the cycle of life. Of course, not just any garden, but a full blown potstravaganza.

Or maybe don’t grow weed outside just yet unless you have a permit. Wait until its fully legalized before attempting such a brazen undertaking. However, there are so many great things to grow and enjoy.

We recommend something you can also eat for the synergy with the bud. If you love a good tomato, you’re in luck because its time to grow the best tomatoes around. Make peppers, herbs, anything that will taste great and give you that sense of accomplishment that you brought something into this world. Realign with your ancestors by becoming entirely self-sufficient and forgoing the trappings of so-called civilized society. Or just grow a bunch of shit that you can eat for fun later. The world is your oyster.

3. Do the Dirty Work

This is the part you are not going to want to hear. There are a million things you probably need to do during the spring time, but here’s one you really should do: clean. That’s right, the ol’ spring cleaning. The bane of people for hundreds of years. The time when its not okay anymore for you to be hoarding all of your useless crap in the cold of the Winter. But the good news is that this can actually be a fun activity.

That’s right, the only limit is your imagination and the size of your stash. You will definitely want to get a good, energetic high going to create a conducive environment for this kind of work. Then what you’ll want to do is turn on your favorite tunes. The happy ones, not quite the gym playlist but not the breakup playlist either. Finally, its time to do some old fashioned cleaning.

Its time to throw out your old vinyl player that you don’t even have a needle for; your food processor that you’ve never used; the piles of clothing from bar mitzvahs and events you don’t even remember going to; the half-eaten pot of chili in your freezer that could have been from this year or last year; everything must go. Get rid of the crap and be ready to make way for the good stuff, the new stuff. The leaves are blooming and all the dead stuff is being replaced with beautiful living things, you should follow suit.

4. Explore

Now this is the most abstract one on this list. Don’t feel like you need a destination, sometimes the journey is its own reward. See the world. If you can walk, walk. If you have to drive to get anywhere interesting, hop in the car and drive until you find something cool. Not everything needs a purpose, sometimes the goal is just to learn, to enjoy. Let the wind guide you. Turn down streets at random, or at the flip of a coin or drive one road until the end of the earth.

Be free thats the motto. Don’t let anything stop you from being truly, unabashedly yourself. And, of course, smoke a ton of weed while doing this (maybe not while driving).

 

So there you have it, no more excuses for why you are going to stay indoors for the entire day. No more reasons why Netflix and a bowl are the only thing you want to do anymore. There are so many other choices for the spring than the ones on this list. There are so many things for you to see, so shake off that winter sludge and dance, my children. That’s it for now. Good luck and stay sprung!

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